Sunday, April 22, 2012

End of the Earth VII: The Big Freeze
It is traditional here at The Virtuosi to plot the destruction of the earth. We also are making secret plans for our volcano lair and death ray. However, since it is earth day, we will only share with you the plans for the total doom of the earth, not the cybernetically enhanced guard dogs we're building for our moon base. The plan I reveal today is elegant in its simplicity. I intend to alter the orbit of the earth enough to cause the earth to freeze, thus ending life as we know it.

Earth Day 2012: Escape to the Moon

It is now Earth Day 2012, and, according to the Mayan predictions, The Virtuosi will destroy the earth. In a futile attempt to fight my own mortality, I decided to send something to the Moon. It seems, for a poor graduate student trying to get to the Moon, the most difficult part is the Earth holding me back. So first I'll focus on escaping the Earth's gravitational potential well, and if that's possible, then I'll worry about more technical problems, such as actually hitting the moon. Moreover, in honor of the destructive spirit of The Virtuosi near Earth Day, I'll try to do this in the most Wiley-Coyote-esque way possible.